


We Have to Adapt to Survive

by summersocietyy



Series: vienna. [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summersocietyy/pseuds/summersocietyy
Summary: Penelope looks up and gasps softly, her eyes widening. Parker swallows thickly and nods, and Jamie grins before he massages some curl-boosting something-or-other into her scalp and grabs the blow dryer. When it’s dry, Parker’s hair is bright and vibrant and soft and so light. She can’t take her eyes off of it, watching the way the curls bounce and the light catches on the gold, and she feels her eyes burn.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Series: vienna. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727104
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	We Have to Adapt to Survive

**Author's Note:**

> it begins!! this is the first in a series of oneshots (and potential two-or-three-shots) about parker and spencer and a handful of others!!

_ She killed it with kisses and from it she fled. - Musician Florence Welch _

_ August 8, 2010 _

Parker jerks upright in bed, her heart pounding. Sucking in a few breaths, she looks around and hurries to focus on one of the exercises her therapist has been walking her through. 

Five things she can see; the LED numbers on her alarm clock. The streetlights from outside. Her panicked reflection in the mirror. Her outfit for tomorrow on the dresser. Her door.

Four things she can touch; her pajamas. Her blanket. Her hair. Her pillow.

Three things she can hear; a car alarm outside. Her white noise machine. The rustling of her sheets.

Two things she can smell; her lavender pillow spray. Her strawberry shampoo.

One thing she can taste; morning breath.

She grimaces at the last one, but she can feel her heartbeat returning to normal. Exhaling unsteadily, she lays back down and rubs her face hard. It feels like the nightmares are never-ending. They come almost every night, and every morning she’s more tired than when she went to bed. A glance at her alarm clock tells her that it’s 2:45 in the morning, and she groans quietly, rubbing at her eyes. She needs to get back to sleep - Penelope is supposed to pick her up at 9:30 for a girls day out - but she doubts that that’s going to happen.

Sighing softly, she yawns and rolls onto her side, staring out the window as rain begins to fall. The soft sound is soothing and before she knows it, she’s slipping back into a restless sleep.

Several hours later, Parker’s alarm rings bright and early, and she rolls over and smacks at it with a grunt. As she lays on her stomach, she can hear Spencer puttering around in the kitchen, and she rubs her eyes and stifles a yawn in her pillow. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, she pushes herself up and shuffles out of her room, smiling lazily when she spies Spencer humming at the counter and dumping sugar into his coffee. She pads up behind him and rests her cheek to his back, smiling again when he hums softly.

“Mornin’.” She mumbles sleepily, tucking herself against his chest when he turns around. Spencer smiles softly and presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Morning.” He says softly, settling his arms around her. He brushes his fingers through the ends of her hair and hums softly, resting his cheek to her head. “Excited to spend the day with Garcia?” Parker hums in response.

“Yes. But I’m also glad I slept so hard last night. And that you’re making coffee.” She says. Spencer chuckles and releases her long enough to pour another cup.

“Garcia will probably take you to Starbucks while you’re out as well.” He tells her. She hums again and takes the mug from him, pouring in cream and sugar and stirring it for a moment before taking a sip. She’s going to need all the caffeine she can get if she’s going to keep up with Penelope today.

She and Penelope had clicked almost the minute they met - Spencer had told her they would, and he’d been right. Parker had accompanied Spencer to the BAU office one afternoon and had they needed to, they would have been able to see Penelope coming from a mile away in her bright pink dress and her bright red hair. She had taken Parker under her wing immediately and they’d become thick as thieves. Penelope had even helped Parker get started working on her GED.

Spencer had tried to encourage Parker to take some time to adjust to a normal life again, but she had insisted on starting on her GED as soon as she could.  _ This will help me feel normal _ , she had insisted, and Spencer hadn’t argued - after all, if it made her happy, who was he to fight it? He glances down at the blonde in his arms and sighs softly, a tender smile touching his lips as she leans against him and sips at her coffee. Parker tips her head up and smiles sleepily at him, her eyes half-closed, and he chuckles softly, tapping her nose lightly. 

“You should go get dressed.” He tells her. She hums in response and he turns her around, pushing her towards her room gently and watching as she shuffles in and shuts the door behind herself.

In her room, Parker stands just beyond the closed door and curls her toes against the hardwood floors. The heady scent of her coffee fills her nose and she rocks on her feet for a moment as she looks around the room. It’s still hard to believe she’s actually  _ home _ .

Her mother had tried so hard to convince Parker to come back to Vienna with her, or to get her to stay in Vegas with Jeremy and Sophia and the kids, but Parker had rebuffed all these suggestions, telling her mother she felt safest with Spencer. And Spencer had had no problem with finding a two-bedroom apartment - luckily enough, in the same building as the one-bedroom he’d been occupying before Parker’s return. Moving had been easy, especially with the help of the rest of the BAU team. It helped that Parker didn’t actually have anything to move, but she’s been building up a collection slowly. 

She has a decent wardrobe now, she thinks, and a nice matching bed and dresser and nightstand set. She’s been collecting books she’d had before and finding new ones; JJ insists she read a series called  _ Twilight _ and Parker thinks it’s absolute garbage, but she can’t bring herself to stop reading it, either. 

A glance at the alarm clock on her nightstand tells her she needs to get her ass in gear, and she sets her coffee on the dresser, digging to find a pair of jeans and a top. She’s dressed in no time, and she slips into the bathroom, squinting at herself in the mirror. Her hair is so  _ long _ now - and quite unruly, if she’s being completely honest. She stares at herself for a long moment, seriously considering (not for the first time) going to find a pair of scissors and hacking off most of her hair. Huffing quietly, she shakes her head before twisting her hair into a bun quickly and securing it with an elastic. By the time she’s done brushing her teeth and doing her makeup, Spencer is knocking at the door to let her know that Penelope has arrived.

She slips out with a smile, grabbing her purse and tipping her head as Spencer leans down to kiss her cheek gently. As she loops her arm through Penelope’s, Spencer calls out, “Have fun! Be safe!”

Parker promises to do both and that she’ll call if they need him, then blows him a kiss and disappears down the stairs with Penelope.

****

It feels like they’ve been shopping for the whole damn day - Parker feels like it should be 10:30 at night, but a glance at her watch tells her it’s only been three hours. Penelope has dragged her all over creation, just to spend time together and do some shopping, and Parker has no  _ real _ complaints, other than she’s tired as hell.

She and Penelope have just finished lunch when they wander past a hair salon, and Parker stops in front of the window. Penelope keeps walking for a moment, chattering brightly before she realizes that Parker isn’t beside her anymore, and she comes back to Parker’s side, tipping her head. Parker doesn’t notice - she’s too busy staring at the girl inside getting her hair cut. A solid ten inches are dropping from her head onto the floor of the salon, and she’s beaming at the hairdresser in the mirror, laughing at some joke that’s just been shared between them, and Parker feels her eyes brim with tears.

“Hey, are you okay?” Penelope asks gently, touching Parker’s arm. Parker jumps a little, coming back to herself, and turns to Penelope, wiping her eyes quickly. “What’s goin’ on, Peep?”

“I wanna get my hair cut.” She says. Penelope blinks at her, then nods.

“Okay. Are you thinking like - a trim, get a couple inches off, or..?”

“I want it gone. I wanna chop it.” 

Penelope blinks twice, then beams at Parker. 

“Well what are we waiting for?!” She crows, and grabs Parker’s arm, dragging her inside. The young woman who greets them smiles warmly, nodding when Penelope asks if they have any availability for a walk-in appointment. She guides them back to a chair where a young man with a bright southern accent greets them with a grin and introduces himself as Jamie.

“What’re we doin’ today, sugar?” He asks as Parker settles in the chair and he drapes a cape around her front. 

“Chopping it. All of it.” She tells him. He raises his brows as he takes the elastic off and her hair tumbles out of its bun. Humming quietly, he pokes and prods around her scalp for a few moments before nodding.

“Let’s chop, then, baby.” He says. Parker nods, following him to the sinks in the back of the salon. He washes her hair and conditions it, holding it securely in a towel as they walk back to the chair. Penelope is perched in the chair beside it, chin propped in her hand as she watches Jamie work his magic. To his credit, he hadn’t asked any skeptical questions when Parker said she wanted to chop her hair off, and she appreciates that. 

After an hour of Jamie trimming and teasing and Parker saying  _ shorter shorter shorter _ , he fluffs her still-damp hair and raises a brow in the mirror. 

“What do we think?” He asks. Penelope looks up and gasps softly, her eyes widening. Parker swallows thickly and nods, and Jamie grins before he massages some curl-boosting something-or-other into her scalp and grabs the blow dryer. When it’s dry, Parker’s hair is bright and vibrant and soft and  _ so light _ . She can’t take her eyes off of it, watching the way the curls bounce and the light catches on the gold, and she feels her eyes burn. Jamie styles it a little, then removes the cape and helps Parker stand, laughing when she throws her arms around him in a tight hug.

“Thank you.” She whispers, sniffling as she steps back. Jamie grins, fluffing the ends of Parker’s hair gently.

“You come back to me anytime you want a haircut darlin’, you hear me?” He says. Parker nods and Jamie sees her and Penelope out, hovering by the desk as Parker pays. He waves after the two of them, watching as they slip back into the sun.

Parker can’t stop running her fingers through her hair. It’s gonna take some getting used to, for sure. Penelope grins, reaching over to tug at a curl lightly.

“Y’know what I think?” She muses. Parker hums in response, glancing at her. “I think we need to find you a new wardrobe. Something that feels like  _ you _ and matches this new hair.”

Parker’s eyes light up.

****

Logically, Spencer knows that Parker is fine. She’s with Garcia, why wouldn’t she be? But there’s still that little part in the back of his mind telling him that she’s gone again, and that this time he’s not going to get her back. Since her return, she hasn’t been out of his sight for a whole day unless he’s been out of town on a case. And if he’s out of town on a case, she’s been with Garcia in her lair, working on her GED, or staying at Garcia’s apartment. But even then, he usually Skypes her before they both go to bed, or at the very least talks to her on the phone. Today, he hasn’t seen her since Garcia picked her up at 9:30, and now the two of them are running late to dinner and he can feel himself starting to panic a little.

Perched next to Morgan at their restaurant-patio table, he fiddles with his glass of wine absently, checking his phone now and then. JJ leans over and nudges his shoulder gently.

“They’ll be here in no time.” She assures him gently. He glances at her and offers a half-smile, nodding, but he doesn’t relax until he hears Garcia announcing loudly that they’ve arrived. His shoulders slump a little as Garcia approaches their table, beaming at them all.

“Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to introduce.. Parker O’Hare 2.0!” She announces grandly, and Spencer raises his brows a little. But when Parker steps out from behind Garcia, he understands, and his heart jumps into his throat. The others around him are whistling and gasping, but he pays them no mind, looking only at Parker.

She looks much more comfortable - and much more like herself, honestly - in loose jeans and a pair of Doc Martens. There’s a t-shirt tucked into her jeans (covered by one of his cardigans, he notes), but that’s not what catches his eye the most. What catches his eye the most is her hair - or lack of it, as the case may be. When she’d woken up this morning, her hair had been down to her waist in a braid, and she had tied it up in a bun before she’d left with Garcia. Now, it hangs much shorter, just barely brushing the tops of her shoulders. The curls are a little more pronounced, and her hair almost seems a little brighter and shinier than it did this morning. She thanks the others as they compliment her, but her eyes focus on Spencer again after a moment as he comes forward. 

“What do you think?” She asks softly, peering up at him almost nervously. Reaching out, he brushes his fingers through the ends of her hair gently and loops one of her curls around his index finger, tugging lightly. She bites her lip around a small smile, and he returns the smile, brushing his thumb against her jaw gently.

“I think it looks great.” He tells her, and she grins broadly at him, wrapping her arms around his middle tightly. He settles his arms around her shoulders and kisses her hair, squeezing lightly before leading her to the table. She perches beside him and twists the end of her sleeve absently, thanking their waiter as he sets a glass of water in front of her.

Spencer tries to focus on the conversations around him, he really does. But he finds himself distracted every time Parker moves next to him or laughs at someone else’s joke. This is a continued pattern throughout the evening, but he’s not exactly complaining. They sit close together as everyone eats, Spencer with his arm around the back of Parker’s chair, his fingers brushing along her shoulder every now and then. When they all part ways, Parker follows Spencer to his car and they ask about each other’s days on the drive home. He tells her about the case they’ve just closed this week - one close to home this time, thankfully. She tells him about Garcia dragging her all over creation for shopping until they found a look she felt right in.

A comfortable silence falls over them as they ride the elevator up to the apartment, and Parker yawns quietly as Spencer lets them in. She pads into her room to change while Spencer puts their leftovers away, and when he slips into his bedroom to change, he spies her through the crack in the bathroom door, staring at herself in the mirror and brushing her hands through her hair slowly. He changes into his pajamas and pads over, knocking at the door lightly and poking his head in when she hums approval.

They brush their teeth beside each other quietly, making eye contact in the mirror every now and then, and Parker follows him out, then pads into her room, where she collapses on the bed spread-eagle as Spencer hovers in the doorway. Laughing softly, he pads in and drops next to her, grinning when she grunts dramatically and rolls into him. Settling an arm around her, he brushes his fingers through her short hair, humming.

“Why’d you cut it?” He asks softly, glancing down at her. She shrugs a little, shifting to rest her cheek against his chest and staring out the window as it begins to rain. He waits patiently, knowing he’ll get his answer eventually.

“I just.. Didn’t wanna be that girl anymore.” She murmurs, draping an arm around him. “It was like.. Every time I looked in the mirror, I was still that girl, stuck in that awful house, and I couldn’t - I couldn’t stand it.” He can hear tears in her voice now, and he holds her a little closer, his heart breaking a little. “Penelope and I were walking past a salon and I looked in and saw this girl getting her hair cut and I just.. I had to do it.”

Spencer hums, nodding slowly. Looking down at Parker, he brushes her cheek, smiling gently when she looks up at him. “I think it looks great.” He murmurs sincerely, smiling a little when she does. She settles closer and he kisses her hair gently, shifting to pull the blanket up over them. Her breaths even out, and for the first time in a long time, there are no nightmares.

_ I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then. - Author Lewis Carroll _

**Author's Note:**

> listen i'd be lying to you if i said this one wasn't directly inspired by barbara 2.0 from beetlejuice the musical


End file.
